Monthly Archives: October 2013

“yes,” (incredulous look and tone of voice here) “it’s raining…”

I didn’t have anything in particular to write about today, so I’m going to post a laundry list of randomness.

Ask a weasel
Ask a weasel.

On writing:
I need to write something, anything at all.

On sleeping:
Last night I couldn’t fall asleep. I did, however, think of a lot of interesting musical phrases. Some were new ideas and others were phrases for existing songs. As usual, I have no recollection whatsoever of these ideas. But many of them were really good.

On coffee:
Coffee is really good.

On winter:
I’m looking forward to plowing with my lawn tractor. I use it to clean up after the actual plowing is done. I have to remember to ask John to come over and convert the lawn tractor from mowing to plowing. It looks easy to do when watching him do it, but if I look at the parts and pieces by myself it looks really, really hard.

On Christmas:
No thoughts until early November when I decorate for Christmas. Oh wait, it IS early November! Cool, I’ll go decorate now.

On winter again:
This winter will be the first winter after having extensive attic insulation work done. They did all this stuff:

1) Attic insulation – open blow – cellulose 4″ – 972 sq. ft.
2) Attic floor insulation: FG batt/damming 64 sq. ft. (I have no idea what that is)
3) Air sealing – ‘performed at 62.5 CFM50 per hour’ (I don’t know what that is either)
4) vent bath fan/soffit exhaust
5) Propervent 24OC – 54 of them (obviously they’re vents of some kind)
6) Thermodome – for attic stair cover thermal barrier ‘with carpentry’

All that work sounds like it should make a difference in keeping the heat in the house.

On music:
I have 16 or 17 new songs. I may start recording them soon. Also, I’ve decided to write some Christmas music and make a Christmas CD for 2014.

On grandchildren:
I will soon have twice as many grandchildren than I do now.

On going out to eat:
I need to find ways to cut down the household expenses so that we can go out o eat more often than we do now, a lot more.

On cleaning the house:
I like cleaning stuff.

On chocolate:
(see coffee above )

On retirement:
The jury is still out. I was supposed to retire September first but as soon as I think I’m out they pull me back in again.

On weight loss/gain seasonal cycling:
I’ll continue to attempt to get it on a more level playing field but I’m not going to obsess over it anymore. I don’t want to spend any more time worrying about certain things like that. I just don’t have the time or interest.

On tribal feudalism:
I don’t really have anything to add to that subject that hasn’t been covered by Karl Marx.

On cutting down trees:
I’m enjoying my new extended vista and will be reshaping it over in the years to come.

On Good & Plenty candy:
(see chocolate above)

On making lists:

Definitely do this. It’s amazing how much you can get done if you view the list as a challenge to your core values and most treasured personal convictions. Don’t let the list win!

On the ukulele:
I must start playing it everyday.

 You know what they say; "Where there's sand..."

Huh? What was that you said…?

misophonia

I got a comment on my post about misophonia, and I was recently told that I am very good at carrying on an entire conversation with an inanimate object. I’m not sure if this is such a great thing to be good at, but I’m OK with telling it as it is.

Since I was made aware of this talent, I’ve realized that these conversations come about for one of two reasons. Or maybe three reasons. Four tops. In this post, I’ll address the number one reason why I may have a conversation with, well, you know, something that can’t talk back.

The most likely reason I will have a conversation with a “thing” is because the thing is making a noise. To me, the noise it’s making is really the same as a person making unsolicited, irritating and continual comments or insults. So, not only is this thing making a noise, but it is doing so just to be offensive. In most situations, it can take a long time to figure out what is making the unwanted noise, and this is what I believe gets the conversation going.

Riding in the truck is a major source of noise problems and therefore a good conversation starter.

The truck makes a LOT of noises and there are some that can’t be fixed. But there are things in the glove compartments (there are 2 of them) that make rattling noises that can be stopped, sometimes. Fixing this complicated problem involves opening the door and forcefully rearranging the contents with a quick random shake-up. This may have to be repeated several times to get things settled in a way that they don’t continue to conspire to irritate me. These items are unpredictable.

In addition, there’s a rattling noise in the far right air conditioning vent that makes a plastic on plastic chattering sound. It’s way down deep in the duct somewhere. The only way to stop the noise is to close the vent. This is not a satisfactory solution in the summer when the air conditioning is on. But in most situations, this sound can be reasoned with.  

In the truck’s middle console between the two front seats, there are several little open organizing trays. A lot of random things get thrown into these nooks such as pens, coins, paper clips, little tiny flashlights, key chains, etc. and they rudely clang and clink amongst themselves. I usually take the pens and put them into the big console compartment that closes with a lid. If they continue to make noise in there, I can’t hear them so I don’t care. The coins I take and put in my pocket. The other things are either put in the glove box, put in my pocket for future placement, or thrown out the window during an argument. OK, so I don’t actually throw things out of the window but it would probably feel good to get the last word in.

The truck keys dangle from the ignition and they clink and clank and bang into each other incessantly carrying on a loud raucous discussion that sounds a little like an argument. Sometimes, I must send out a silent distress signal because Allen will stop them from swinging and that immediately stops their debate (temporarily).

In the back seat, the two shoulder seat belts hang in a specific place against the interior and along the side of the seat. If someone uses those seat belts, they don’t automatically reel back into the proper position after their use. No, no, no. They hang there halfway to where they should be and the buckle part of the strap hits the hard plastic side panel and makes a loud clanking noise and does so over and over again. They don’t roll-up into the right position despite their ability to do so and if they did, they’d be made to keep their thoughts to themselves. They just clank until I make Allen stop the truck so that I can get out, open the back door and firmly remind them of their place. This may have to be repeated for the other side of the truck depending on circumstances. It’s possible that these Toyota seat belts still speak Japanese, which would account for our communication problems. .

In the center of the truck in the area near the floor, there is a rattling noise that comes from somewhere within. This noise is affected by temperature and when “in season” it’s an almost constant irritant. I have had some small successes by prying the plastic apart where it meets the floor carpeting and putting a piece of cardboard there to keep the space sufficiently open. Unfortunately, this fix only lasts for 15-30 seconds before the noise works up the courage to start giving me more flack. Usually this will mean that the cardboard wedge will have to be reprimanded, I mean repositioned.

Similarly, a well-placed cardboard wedge can also stop a squeak that sometimes comes from the space where the bottom of the windshield meets the dashboard. At first it seemed to be a noise from within the defrosting vents, but it is actually a noise created by something inside the vents, inaccessible for a permanent fix. This noise knows I can’t stop it and it’s very obnoxious about this fact.

Items in the door pockets are notorious noise makers, especially metal spray cans of sunblock as they bump into adjacent bottles and other pocket contents. These would seem easy to fix by simply moving the items away from each other, but its not that simple.

Anything free to move around will eventually rub up against something else and start yacking again. The trick here is to get the items in the pockets tight up against each other so that they can only get enough air for a whisper. One of the offenders in this location is a small plastic first aid kit. Considering what a first aid kit is used for, you’d think it would be more polite and concerned about a person’s welfare. This is not the case, trust me. I’ve gotten the information straight from the source. 

Plastic water bottles can not be made to stop squeaking and or crackling in a cup holder or when they’re still in a plastic wrap case (after at least one has been removed). This is a fact and there’s nothing that can be done other than not bring water bottles into the vehicle in the first place. I’ve had some serious conversations with the bottles about this and simply could not care less. I hate them.

Purchases placed into the back seat have the potential to be very aggravating. Since these new purchases are essentially guests at this point, you’d think there would be some honeymoon period. This hasn’t been my experience. There’s so many things that can wrong here. The purchases can contain things that can and do rub, rustle, scrape, squeak, chatter, hum, pop, buzz or make many other annoying sounds. Styrofoam is King Annoyance in this situation. The larger the bag and the looser the items are packed create more chances for a serious difference of opinion.

Just to be clear, I don’t think these conversations actually help with the noise problems. But it’s always good to get things off your chest, don’t you think?

An open prayer to God, Creator of the Universe and other stuff

Dear Sir Lord God, 
Please stop making bad people and people with an IQ of less than 78. Also, I know you like Mormons a lot but we really don’t need anymore of those either, no matter how nice they may be. 
Also, could you turn the thermostat down a little on earth? I know you must really like the earth since it’s the only place in the universe you chose to put life. So, just in case you didn’t notice (I know you have a lot on your mind caring for all that there is and all) it’s getting a little toasty down here.
I realize how important it is for you to be worshiped and feared, but in all humbleness, wouldn’t it be better to have only one religion? That is, of course, if you think there needs to be such a thing as religion at all. I don’t think it matters what religion you might chose over all the others, but having only one religion would pretty much turn the entire planet into paradise on earth. I know that might make your heavenly reward thing a little less appealing, but if the whole world is singing your praises anyway, maybe you won’t even need heaven anymore.
As long as we’re on the subject of paradise on earth, why not go the distance and do away with all that is wrong in the world? If you need to be adored and revered, why did you make it possible for us to ignore you or not “believe” in you? Oh, yeah – that “free will” thing, right?

I guess the free will concept is a little hard to understand for us humans. After all, if you know all and see all and created all and are all that, then you already know which of us is going to ignore you, not believe in you or commit sins against you and you even know how it’s all going to end, so uh, where does the free will thing come into play? But like I said, we’re only human and we can’t understand your mysterious ways. Which, if I’m being honest, makes it almost impossible to please you. But I’m not a complainer…

Lastly, I’d really like substantive and empirical evidence that you exist. I know this knowledge is one of your biggest mysterious no-no’s. But it really seems like a big waste of my time to do your bidding for an entire lifetime if you’re not going to be there at the end to give me your promised rewards.

In conclusion, if you do exist, I must admit that I admire your work, flowers are pretty and chocolate was a real stroke of genius. And I hope you don’t hold a grudge against me or others who question your existence of effectiveness or relevance. I’d like to think that using the resources you gave us (like a brain) were given to be used. Otherwise, a spinal cord would probably have been enough.

I am tapeman.
Magic Wish of the Day:
“i wish i was born on july 3 1997 in los angeles to a filipino-indian mother and an american father and a 6 years old younger sister”
Comment: uh, I don’t think that this wish is ever going to be possible. As far as I know, only 2 people can create another human being. That third 6 yr. old is redundant, or more specifically superfluous, oh hell, it’s just damn creepy. Visit the Magic Wishing Well

Bleak

things can always get worse
I dreamt I was awake but having listless legs I did not at first notice 
The ground shaking under me with a quake compelled to tremor
A force majeure had risen from the earth
And it pelted me with fear and anxiety
-Paul N. Dion-

The Life of a Story in Progress XX: Family Ties

There are different types of families. I’m not talking about the people within a family but rather types in the sense of family of origin, nuclear family and so on. My family of origin is probably typical. Although having parents who have been married for 59 years is somewhat unusual, I suppose.

In any case, I wanted to mention what I call MY family. My family consists of a very small group of people. 6 tops (soon to be expanded). A subset of that family is the family I actually live with. That family is even smaller. It’s exactly 2 people.

How many people are needed to constitute a family? I have no doubt that 6 is more than enough to qualify as a family, but is there a rule? Is 2 people enough? And if it is, what if one person dies, divorces, wanders away, etc. Do they take your family status with them? And why is there a picture of a giraffe below?

Giraffes are, apparently, amusing. I should post more pictures of giraffes. 

Magic Wishing Well Wish of the Day: “I wish me and my ENTIRE family were blonde (except the ones that are already blonde) in a new shape and voice and everyone knew we were blonde.”

Even better than no balance due….

I knew it was coming and October is the month with no electric bill. Not even the little piddly stupid stuff they attach to the bill could stop the mighty 7.035 KW solar system from defeating big business.

Technically, in terms of counting electricity ONLY, if those stupid little “customer charges” above didn’t exist…I’d actually have a $20.68 credit towards my next bill. Which will be zero anyway. Ha H ha ha ha aha   choke sputter ps spit a ahh   arg ah ha ha ha ha ahh aa shudder sshake ha ha ah   LOL jha ho ho ho

STATS:
I have NOX Offset of 3.28 lbs
SO2 offset of 10.43 lbs.
and
CO2 offset of 3,737.59 lbs

(over the period of July 1 – Oct 15th)

Creative or just plain gross? (and a Little Green Man)

 
You Decide.

 Hello, I am an idiot. I do idiotic things and think idiotic thoughts. I have idiotic dreams and an idiotic wardrobe. Some people think I am stupid, but I am not. I’m just an idiot.

Magic Wishing Well Wish of the Day: I wish that me, my mother, and my sister will have white peoples hair by tomorrow. I wish that my hair, when it is white peoples hair, will be cinnamon brown colour, extremely silky, a bit thick and waist length hair. I wish that my sisters hair, when it is white peoples hair, will be cinnamon brown colour, extremely silky, a bit thick and bra strap length and I wish that my mothers hair, when it is white peoples hair, will be cinnamon brown colour, extremely silky, a bit thick and bra strap length. I wish that me and my sisters eye colour will be light brown by tomorrow. I wish that all of that will come by tomorrow.