Monthly Archives: December 2015

Merry Christmas Everyone.

Just be good for goodness' sake

Just be good for goodness’ sake

My Christmas Message:

Tell the truth, as often as possible:

Religion is a lie.
All of it.

Gods are false.
All of them.

Respect is earned.
Religion hasn’t earned any of my respect.

I don’t accept inequality (AKA privilege) as acceptable.

If someone is offended by the truth it’s because
they are used to privilege and inequality.

Telling me you are offended by my words will
have no effect on me.

Baba’s Bounty

Visit the Magic Wishing Well

Visit the Magic Wishing Well

I wish to look, sound and smell exactly like Tom Welling in Smallville season 1. I want to have the same voice, laugh, breath, armpit and body smell and i want to have the exact same hairline, hair softness, hair waviness, hair thickness, amount of hair, and hair color, the same height, the same facial structure, nose, jawline, teeth straightness, whiteness, and size, eye color, eye shape and size, head shape, height (6 foot 3), body structure, amount of skin, body hair, smooth clear skin, skin color.

Baba gets some unusual request but you are exceptionally strange. Nevertheless, POOF!, your wish is granted, Enjoy your very specific amount of skin.

 

I want to establish a crow university for crows. Ca n you help me?

No, Baba is not an accredited educational institution and does not possess the authority to establish a Crow College.

 

I want my brother to become the Queen of the Sea will this occur before next Christmas?

Sometimes it’s hard not to laugh.

 

I wish it took 19 years for me to gain 10 pounds for every ten pounds I gain I want more money deposited into my vacation fund.

OMG, I was just thinking the exact same thing!

 

I wish to find 92.6 million dollars on the sidewalk every once in a while.

That seems strange. For me, finding it once would be more than enough. But you may have more financial responsibilities than Baba does.

 

I wish I could control my power to make everything go my way.

It seems like that power would be automatically self-regulating. But maybe there are nuances to that power that I am unfamiliar with so I will grant the wish.

 

I wish to understand the riddles cats tell each other.

I think it’s about time that someone brings that enigma to light. I commend you for your timing and insight.

 

On Tuesday, in my locker, I will be using graphing calculators and scientific data crunching numbers will it make me a better friend in general?

Without a doubt.

 

I wish for a magic balloon that when I blow it up it has a genie in it and when I let it deflate Tom Brady comes out and admits his mistakes but grants my wishes anyway because he’s sorry and didn’t understand the science involved.

You are magnanimous and wise.

 

I wish I could date a crushed Oliveman when on holiday in the mountains of northern Greece,

Didn’t you already wish for this  last year?

 

I wish for enormous power but without harming anyone’s problems.

That’s nice of you to preserve everyone’s problems for them. Plus it gives Baba job security. Thank you.

 

I wish to get a job outside of my car.

Your willingness to come out of your car will certainly help with your job search, Good decision.

 

I wish to be magically secured.

When Baba feels the need for magic security, he uses transparent cellophane tape.

 

I want all my wishes to come out at night but go away before morning’s first dusting.

It is complexity acceptable to dust in the evening. This may also help you with your allergies.

 

I wish my forehead was one centimeter smaller.

OK, done.

 

I wish my mother would talk to me without spitting on me more.

Sorry, I can’t interfere with her parenting protocols.

 

I want any crusty entrenched laugh lines to disappear before being seen by the police.

I completely understand and approve, therefore I will grant this wish immediately.

 

Is my power of predicting the future working at peak efficiency?

No.

 

 

My Countries List

Here are the countries I have visited:

Antigua
Bahamas
Barbados
Belgium
Bulgaria
Canada
Colombia
Costa Rica
Denmark
Dominica
England
Estonia
Finland
France
Greece
Grenada
Haiti
Iceland
Italy
Jamaica
Mexico
The Netherlands
Norway
Panama
The Philippines
Portugal
Russia
St. Kitts/Nevis
St. Lucia
Scotland
Switzerland
Turkey
Venezuela
Territories/Colonies/Dependencies

Aruba
Bermuda
French Polynesia
Faroe Islands
Netherlands Antilles
Martinique
British Virgin Islands
Cayman Islands
Turks and Caicos
Puerto Rico
Virgin Islands